Please Stop Hoarding Cats in the Dorm
by captainharsya23
Summary: In order to encourage active communication between students and teachers, All Might and Nezu decided to put up a digital board where everyone can post complaints and suggestions to students and teachers alike for everyone to see. Of course it ended up being the witness to UA's most ridiculous moments.
1. The Cold Open

**From: All Might**

 **To: Students and Faculty Members of U.A.**

Hello students and faculty members alike, I am here to explain the function of this board!

Students and faculty members alike can post here to express suggestions and complaints alike that they thought were necessary to be made. The rules are:

\- No cussing

\- Each post made must be signed to ensure that everyone will be responsible for what they post here

Use this board for good, current and future Heroes!

All Might signing out, I am no longer here.

 **Signed by All Might**

* * *

A/N: A prelude to the madness and hilarity that is sure to come. Leave favorites, follows, and a review.


	2. First Batch of Idiocy

**From: All Might**

 **To: Minoru Mineta**

It's imperative that from now on, you should never be allowed to come anywhere near the Support Department. Any more complaint from the Support Department of a "crazy pervert" asking for a machine that can see through girl's skirts will result in stricter punishment.

 **To: Katsuki Bakugou**

Anyone, students and teachers alike, promising to let you fight Mirio if you strip naked and ran around the school complex while naked shall be given a firm "No."

 **To: Izuku Midoriya**

I am disappointed that you encouraged Bakugou instead of trying to stop him.

\- What do you mean by "It's everything that I have never known I needed"? I expected better from you.

\- It appear that a long-overdue talk is needed. Meet me in my office after school.

 **To: Ochako Uraraka**

The first thing that you should do when a classmate strip naked for no reason is to immediately stop them, not pull out your phone and record it while floating their clothes away.

 **To: Tooru Hagakure**

Please be mindful of others when using the restroom. Just because you're invisible doesn't mean you're allowed to use the Men restroom when the Women one is full. The implication of what had been witnessed alone is enough to traumatize some people.

 **Signed by All Might**

 **From: Eraserhead**

 **To: Momo Yaoyorozu**

I understand the sentiment behind it. But please stop sending me bob-head kitten figures. Three is enough. Anything more than that is just creepy no matter where I put it.

 **To: Midnight**

"They are annoying brats" isn't a valid excuse put an entire class to sleep for their entire break time. Please mind your professionalism

\- No, the fact that I slept through mine isn't a valid excuse either. I have my reasons.

 **To: Hitoshi Shinsou**

It's not a generally accepted thing for anyone to brainwash anyone else into eating their own homework. Not only it's cruel, it's also frankly disgusting to see them vomiting it out afterward.

\- The victim deserving it doesn't justify your action. I thought you knew better.

 **Signed by Eraserhead**

 **From: Fumikage Tokoyami**

 **To: Class 1-A**

Whoever keep on turning the light in my room in the middle of the night need to stop. It disturb my slumber in darkness and Dark Shadow isn't happy at all..

 **Signed by Fumikage Tokoyami**

 **From: Yuga Aoyama**

 **To: Fumikage Tokoyami**

My bad

 **Signed by Yuga Aoyama**

* * *

 **A/N: First batch of madness up! A little warning: As time goes, things will only get more ridiculous. Also, this won't strictly follow Canon so some events might happen differently for the sake of comedy**


	3. The One Where They Got Rid of Mineta

**From: All Might**

 **To: Izuku Midoriya**

As a hero-in-training, it should be remembered that the only time where it is acceptable to use your Quirk against another person is during fights against villains. By no mean should you use it to punt your classmate across the complex, no matter how deserving he is.

 **To: Other Students of Class 1-A**

While cooperation between students are highly encouraged, it's highly frowned upon to cheer on your classmate punting another student across the complex. Under any other circumstances, it would have resulted in punishment, but the reasoning behind the action make it impossible to truly blame all of you.

 **To: Students and Faculty Members of U.A.**

Effective from tomorrow, Minoru Mineta of Class 1-A is no longer a student of U.A. following recent events that happened.

 **Comments:**

 **Katsuki Bakugou:** Good riddance

 **Neito Monoma:** HAHAHAHA of course it's a 1-A students that-

 **Itsuka Kendo:** Please ignore the comment above

 **Shouto Todoroki:** We have someone called that?

 **To: Eraserhead**

It's a teacher's duty to set a good precedent for students to follow. So please stop hoarding cats in the school building.

 **To: Hitoshi Shinsou**

When we scolded Aizawa not to do it, that's _not_ a challenge for you to follow his actions and hoard cats in the dorm building. We have a strict no pets allowed rule.

 **To: Denki Kaminari**

I have no idea how you managed to convince Tokoyami to call himself your pet and make him bark like a dog, but we get it, there's no clear definition of what constitute as a pet. Effective next week, students are allowed to bring up to three animals as a pet to their dorms. The comprehensive rule will be published three days from now.

 **Signed by All Might**

 **From: Eraserhead**

 **To: Shouto Todoroki**

Sleep deprivation is bad. It's even worse for not only you but also others around you when you're the one suffering from it. So please have enough sleep because it's hard to teach a class that either felt like it's in the middle of an ice age or just 10 meters away from the Sun.

 **To: Present Mic**

Marriage proposal isn't supposed to be done in the middle of the teaching hour in front of the students. It's embarrassing no matter how much I looked forward to it.

 **To: No. 13**

It's not acceptable to use your Quirk to remove essays submitted by students on the ground that "They are so stupid". They are in a school for a reason.

 **Signed by Eraserhead**

 **From: Katsuki Bakugou**

 **To: Class 1-A**

Whoever of you fuckers that doused me with flour before the training session better own up before I blow up the dorm up

 **Comment:**

 **Eijiro Kirishima:** Dude, it's not flour. It's baby powder.

 **Denki Kaminari:** You idiot

 **Signed by Katsuki Bakugou**

 **From: Tenyaminator**

 **To: Class 1-A**

I implore for anyone who changed my name to Tenyaminator in every single piece of media to own up. It's frankly embarassing and not a good conduct by a hero-in-training.

\- ... Midoriya, I am shocked.

 **Signed by Tenya Iida**

* * *

 **A/N: That's Mineta eliminated! I have no damn idea what to do with the grape bastard, so there you go.**


	4. Not Everyone Can Afford Therapy

**From: All Might**

 **To: Izuku Midoriya**

That was… worrying. Your actions during the latest incident involving League of Villains made me couldn't help but worry for your mental health. Starting tomorrow, you are mandated to meet a psychiatrist once in every three days.

 **To: Katsuki Bakugou**

I don't know what does it say about Midoriya that between the two of you, you are the one who acted as the voice of reason in the latest incident, but I am here to express my gratitude for that.

 **To: Neito Monoma**

While the latest incident might put doubt to it, Midoriya is very gentle most of the time, so please stop screaming in terror every time he looked at you. If you manages to actually anger him, there's a very good chance you deserve it

 **To: Sero Hanta**

Please stop replacing toilet papers with your tape. It's very sticky and my buttock still hurt from having to pull it off by force.

 **To: Asui Tsuyu**

Likewise, replacing the liquid soap in the toilet with your mucus (Is that what it's called?) should also be stopped.

 **To: Recovery Girl**

While I understand that the students can be frustrating to deal with, please refrain from deliberately giving false diagnosis. Face acne is no way a prelude to leprosy, and one traumatized student is one too much,

 **Signed by All Might**

 **From: Eraserhead**

 **To: Midnight**

When you found out that the liquid soap had been replaced by a sticky substance, your responsibility is to report is it can be replaced immediately, not to convince everyone that it's been replaced by a certain bodily fluid.

 **To: Momo Yaoyorozu**

If you lost your homework, just say so. There's no need to hunt down someone with memory restoring Quirk so you can recreate that homework with your Quirk. Unlike with some of your classmate, I believed you.

 **To: Mina Ashido**

Now you, is another matter. Saying that Hound Dog ate your homework is just in poor taste.

\- I don't know if I should be angry or confused that Hound Dog did ate your homework

 **To: Hitoshi Shinsou**

Exploring your Quirk is encouraged. But please refrain from doing weird experiments such as brainwashing yourself into kissing Midoriya because you're too shy to do it yourself. He doesn't really mind, but I honestly don't think its a healthy way to cope with your feelings.

 **Comment:**

 **Present Mic:** _WOW_

 **Eraserhead:** Shut up

 **Signed by Eraserhead**

 **From: Eijirou Kirishima**

 **To: Denki Kaminari**

Bro, just because Mineta is gone doesn't you have to try extra hard at making crude jokes. While unlike him you're actually funny, I have Katsuki's wrath by my side and isn't afraid to unleash it if you ever ask me again if my private parts harden with the rest of my body.

 **Comment:**

 **Mina Ashido:** Does it, though?

 **Eijirou Kirishima:** …. yes

 **Signed by Eijirou Kirishima**

 **From: Shouto Todoroki**

 **To: Katsuki Bakugou**

Please control your cult. I'm used to receiving strange letters, but this is frankly too strange even for me

 **Comment:**

 **Katsuki Bakugou:** The fuck you meant by my cult?

 **Shouto Todoroki:** You know what, never mind.

 **Signed by Shouto Todoroki**

 **A/N: Believe me when I said that this is a mere prelude before things go batshit insane. Also, a little tidbit: All Might isn't the only one handling the All Might account.**


	5. Momo Fucked Up

**From: All Might**

 **To: Katsuki Bakugou**

This is the second time this month already. I swear to God, if another incident involving you running around naked in the school complex happened again I will send you to a psychiatrist like Midoriya. The video of your stripped run has began circulating in the internet, and we had began to receive angry anonymous letter most likely from the League of Villains complaining about you "Taking too much attention away from them." This kind of thing is the reason why you got targeted for kidnapping.

 **To: Izuku Midoriya**

One naked student running around the school complex is already one too much. Please stop tricking Mirio into activating his Quirk in the worst timing possible for the sake of your observation. Again, we encourage helping each other in developing your Quirks but please refrain from making a scene like that.

 **To: Shouto Todoroki**

It has come to our attention that you have been receiving strange letters from a group of fanatics that claimed to be the follower of a certain student in our school. Please come to the Principal's office after lesson to discuss this worrying phenomenon.

 **To: Momo Yaoyorozu**

Spiking up the cafetaria's drinking water with vodka is simply unacceptable. Surely you have better things to do with your Quirk than causing a huge incident that surely will scar all of our students and faculty members for years to come. There is a very good reason that we make sure certain students never come anywhere near any alcohol.

 **To: Kyoka Jirou**

It has come to our attention that you have been utilizing your Quirk to hear things that you aren't supposed to. It's imperative that you come to the principal's office after the lesson ended so we can discuss things such as privacy and secret keeping.

\- Saying that it had been more traumatizing than enlightening does not excuse you action. Look at it as part of the punishment.

 **Signed by All Might**

 **From: Eraserhead**

 **To: Hitoshi Shinsou**

Revolution should never be the first thing that come to your mind when asked about what should be done to better the hero system. In national television. I understand that you are frustrated by the condition of our system, but please keep all talks about revolution and the likes down. On another note, Midoriya will be more than happy to have someone to talk with about such subject.

 **To: Mirio Togata**

I think by now you should have realized that Midoriya is actually capable of playing pranks on others, you being his senior and someone he looked up to doesn't mean you're safe. Please be more careful in the future, like All Might had said, one naked student running around the school complex is already one too much.

 **To: Ectoplasm**

Please don't use your clones to start an impromptu musical show in the middle of the lunch. This isn't a competition of who can make the biggest mess during lunchtime, though it's a close race between you and Yaoroyuzu.

 **Signed by Eraserhead**

 **From: Momo Yaoyorozu**

 **To: All Students and Faculty Members of U.A.**

Deepest apologies from me for the actions that brought us the calamity that is today's lunchtime. In my defense, I could have never guessed that some of us would be that much of a chaos bringer when drunk. I swear to God Midoriya, please never skip your psychiatrist appointments again. I finally understand why you need it in the first place.

 **Signed by Momo Yaoyorozu**

 **From: Eijirou Kirishima**

 **To: Denki Kaminari**

Dude! Really, stop with the dirty jokes. I'm writing on the behalf of Tamaki-senpai because he's positively traumatized by your question about whether he can turn into another person by eating their ass. Mirio-senpai is _not_ happy.

 **Comment:**

 **Nejire Hadou:** The answer is no, by the way. Mirio told me so.

 **Mirio Togata:** Traitor

 **Signed by Eijirou Kirishima**

 **From: Izuku Midoriya**

 **To: All Students and Faculty Members of U.A.**

I'm really, really, sorry that you guys have to see _that._ In my defense, I couldn't have known that Momo-san spiked the water.

 **Comment:**

 **Katsuki Bakugou:** You fucking bitch ass liar, I saw you coming back over and over again to get more drink when- **(This comment had been deleted)**

 **Mina Ashido:** I swear to God Bakugou commented something here before.

 **Katsuki Bakugou:** Fuck off, I never commented anything before.

 **A/N:** **Next chapter will delve further into the curious case of Kacchan's cult. Also, a little hint: Aizawa is wrong when he said that there's no competition on who can make the bigger mess ;)**


	6. Bakugou Got A Cult

**From: All Might**

 **To: Katsuki Bakugou**

After recent discoveries and analysis of the situation, it has become clear to us that some sort of mostly female cult has formed around the idea that you are a deity from the lost ages that will bring upon destruction to this world. I really don't want to know anything more, so please be mindful of the fact that you are the only person that they are willing to talk to and fix that mess.

 **To: Izuku Midoriya**

We are not going to recreate the Hunger Games for an exam. Whoever suggested such thing to you are simply exaggerating. Our job is to educate, not to murder our students.

\- No, neither are we going to throw all of you into a giant maze full of deadly creatures for the test. Stop reading terrible novels.

 **To: Yuga Aoyama**

Please stop writing your essays in Shakespearean dialogue. As impressive as it is to read, we aren't too pleased of having to read over twenty pages of tragedy drama about the circulation system. Present Mic, however, would like to commend you on that feat.

 **To: Hitoshi Shinsou**

It's already terrifying enough to witness _that_ once. Please stop using your Quirk to make everyone remember every detail of the vodka incident. Yaoroyozu already apologized, no need to put everyone through that again.

 **To: Shouto Todoroki**

Don't use your Quirk to turn the hallways into ice rinks just because Midoriya asked you to. Many students and faculty members simply couldn't move on an icy surface, with or without proper equipment. Also, it's freezing and Midnight already caught a cold from it.

 **To: Mei Hatsume**

No. We are not going to fund your project to create an entire Roman battalion with robots for the defense of U.A. We let Power Loader make robots because we trust him. We do not trust you to make something like that as there's next to no chance of it not resulting in a chaos comparable to the latest vodka incident.

 **Signed by All Might**

 **From: Eraserhead**

 **To: All Might**

Please, if you don't know what something mean just keep quiet and nod along. Kaminari and Kirishima telling you that you have a big dick energy shouldn't be responded with "I suppose One for All have that effect when used". Now everyone is staring at Midoriya and he's really uncomfortable.

 **To: Present Mic**

Stop spreading rumors that I used my bandage weapon for "naughty" things. The only person that will get tied up by it will by you if you continue to do so, and not in the way that you liked it either.

 **Comment:**

 **Mina Ashido:** Wait

 **Denki Kaminari:** Oh my god

 **To: Midnight**

Just because Mineta had been expelled, that doesn't mean you should tease another student in his place. Shinsou is not pleased to know that you haven't been wearing any underwear for the last few weeks when teaching.

 **Comment:**

 **Kyoka Jirou:** Oh, so that's why she caught the cold so easily...

 **To: Tenya Iida**

Please inform us whenever your brother decided to visit. This might come as a surprise, but your brother is a menace when left to his own.

 **Signed by Eraserhead**

 **From: Fumikage Tokoyami**

 **To: Hitoshi Shinsou**

Please end this madness. Your cats are menaces from the dark. I know that you use your quirk to tell them to hound me. Midoriya told me you can use your quirk on animals.

 **Comment:**

 **Hitoshi Shinsou:** I can. But this is really just my cats really liking to play with birds.

 **Signed by Fumikage Tokoyami**

 **From: Mei Hatsume**

 **To: U.A. Faculty Members**

What do you all mean that I should cancel the production of my lovely carnivorous monkey robot babies?! I thought we are going to have a Hunger Games themed final exam for those in Hero Course!

 **Comment:**

 **Izuku Midoriya:** I knew it!

* * *

 **A.N: Sorry for taking so long to update! By the way, next chapter will involve a huge revelation on the whole "UA traitor" thing. Believe me when I said it's going to be unexpected. Also, this isn't going to be the last you'll see of Bakugou's cult.**


	7. Denki, You Dolt

**From: All Might**

 **To: U.A. Students and Faculty Members**

After months of speculation, the momentary capture of one core member of the League of Villains has finally revealed to us who had been leaking information regarding U.A. activities. Subsequently, we'll closely monitor all social media activities made by everyone within the campus to prevent further leaks. Also, Kaminari Denki, please come to Principal Nedzu's office. We'll discuss what punishment will be fitting for your numerous accidental leaking of sensitive information through Twitter.

 **To: Midoriya Izuku**

I am appalled. I thought you would have known better than to carelessly drop your notes on public places. Now it's missing, and dozens of heroes and soon-to-be heroes are at risk if your notes fall to the wrong hand.

 **Comment:**

 **Midoriya Izuku:** Uhh, All Might? The note that I lost is one that specifically talks about heroes' dating life and such, so no security breach there.

 **Thirteen:** On behalf of the entire hero community, let me say this: Oh my god that's even worse. Also, why did you have one?!

 **Iida Tenya:** You will be surprised just how much of a gossip lover Midoriya and Uraraka is. I'm still at awe that they figured out who my brother's partner is before he even told me. No, I will not disclose that information in a public board.

 **To: Bakugou Katsuki**

I'm not trying to shirk responsibility regarding your protection in the face of your potentially dangerous cult, but at the very least be at ease now that Kaminari is no longer sharing your location 24/7 through his Twitter. Also, it would have been great if you could stop chasing Kaminari around looking like you'd kill him. We really need him alive.

 **To: Todoroki Shouto**

No, rest assured that U.A. is not going to invite your father for the "Meet Your Hero" event. Not even I have enough patience to deal with his bullshit, nor does he want to see my face if he has the choice. So, please unfreeze the doors of the staff room as soon as possible. Present Mic is about to kill himself due to the embarrassment of pissing in a bottle in front of the entire staff members.

 **To: Shinsou Hitoshi**

Monoma is a bit of an idiot, even Vlad, with all his passion and pride as the 1-B headteacher, will admit to that fact. That doesn't mean you should brainwash him into practically becoming your servant for an entire day just because he ate your pudding. Also, please don't give any incentive for Bakugou to join in tormenting him, I'm sure being your slave for an entire day is enough torment for a lifetime.

 **Midnight:** On the risk of probation for sexual harassment, just let me say that I'll give you an instant extra point for making him wear slutty bunny outfit the entire time.

 **To: Iida Tenya**

Dealing with your class can be very very frustrating, we're all aware of that. With the latest security breach scare in courtesy of Bakugou, Midoriya, and Kaminari, it's perfectly normal that you're jittery. What's not normal is for you to kick Kaminari out of the window because he used his phone in class. We already make sure that he's banned from social media for the next two weeks and he's very very sorry for everything.

 **To: Denki Kaminari**

On the other hand, using your phone in class is strictly prohibited. Please remember that we're constantly monitoring your phone 24/7 for the next two weeks and prohibited from logging into your social media until we made sure that League of Villain could no longer access any of U.A. Faculty member's social media.

 **To: Momo Yaoroyuzu**

When we say we're monitoring your social media, that also include all other _public_ post made either anonymously or not. What I'm saying is, yes, your Wattpad account is also monitored by the school, and yes, we've read all of your posts there. Midnight is very happy, but a lot of people aren't so keep an eye out.

 **Comment:**

 **Momo Yaoroyuzu:** That's a violation of privacy!

 **Katsuki Bakugou:** Your Wattpad account is a violation of my eyes

 **Sero Hanta:** and any shred of innocence that I might still have

 **From: Eraserhead**

 **To: Ochako Uraraka**

Being jittery is understandable due to all the security breach as of late but the next time I have to rope you down because you floated yourself when sleeping, I'm leaving you on the yard instead of bringing you to your room. I heard the mosquito are rather intense all year round.

 **To: Neito Monoma**

While your usual routine of aggravating 1-A students are mildly annoying at worst and somewhat entertaining at best, none of the staff members are obliged to get you out of any suffering you might find yourself in due to that action. That is to say no amount of begging is going to get any of us to help you when Sero plastered you to the ceiling. You got yourself into it, you got yourself out of it.

* * *

 **A/N: Tada! It's been almost a year, huh? I'm so sorry for taking this long. The first year of college turns out to take a whole lot more adapting than I initially thought and writing is one of the last thing in my mind through the entire thing. Also, yeah, the reveal is that Denki is an idiot.**


	8. Izuku Needs to be Interrogated

**From: All Might**

 **To: Izuku Midoriya**

While I understand that I absolutely have no reason to involve myself in your private business, the condition that Young Todoroki was in when he come to the class today seemed to suggest that there's some more training to be done to control your quirk.

 **Comment:**

 **Izuku Midoriya:** But he's the one who wanted me to try it out!

 **Shouto Todoroki:** Its fine, All Might, Midoriya just misunderstood which quirk of his I was talking about.

 **Ochako Uraraka:** Oh my god. How come did I just realize what happened?!

 **To: Katsuki Bakugou**

When we told you to control your cult, we did _not_ mean that you should make them all your personal servants. We're doing everything we can to do damage control from the fact there are hundreds of people disappearing on their family to serve you, we don't need you making things worse for us.

 **To: Denki Kaminari**

And you shouldn't have encouraged Young Bakugou to do that. I understand that you're most likely joking when you suggested the notion to him, but this isn't the first and wouldn't be the last time any UA student or faculty member cause a huge disaster out of a joke.

 **To: Momo Yaoroyuzu**

After we reviewed the contents of your Wattpad account, we determined that you should come over to the teacher's room. Some of the information that you posited within your writings are too personal for everyone's comfort.

 **Comment:**

 **Momo Yaoroyuzu:** In my defense, I got most of them from Midoriya.

 **Izuku Midoriya:** We had a deal!

 **Eraserhead:** Midoriya, I think I represent every single hero when I say that we all deserve to know what exactly you have in your notes.

 **To: Tsuyu Asui**

First, snatching up flies with your tongue during class is just disturbing, no matter how you look at it. Second, even if it isn't, eating during class is strictly forbidden.

 **To: Shouto Todoroki**

Refrain from asking Midoriya to "experiment" with his quirk outside of a safe and controlled situation. We still have no idea what half of his quirks do and we wouldn't want to risk injuring anyone due to misuse.

 **To: Tooru Hagakure**

If you're late, then please just admit that you're late instead of making one of your classmate bring your bag into the class and have them pretend that you're there but naked with voice calls. Again, just because we don't see it, the implication of what might have been seen is enough to disturb most people.

 **To: Mashirao Ojiro**

The next time one of your classmate asked you to do something that you know will traumatize a lot of people, please refuse. We know that you're better than that, and Class 1-A already have a shortage of rational people to begin with.

 **Signed by All Might**

 **From: Eraserhead**

 **To: Hitoshi Shinsou**

Please learn to have some self-control when looking after Eri. The next time I returned to find over twenty cats littering about in my room, I'm going to double your daily training portion.

 **Comment:**

 **Hitoshi Shinsou:** In my defense, Kaminari was the one responsible for half of them.

 **Eraserhead:** You brought Kaminari over to look after Eri, knowing well that he's still under effective house arrest and shouldn't have left the school ground?

 **Hitoshi Shinsou:** …shit.

 **To: Denki Kaminari**

I hope you're ready for the punishment for sneaking out of the dorm when you're explicitly forbidden from doing so.

 **To: Eijirou Kirishima**

And you should be ready to receive your punishment for helping Kaminari escape. You should have known better. Whether you think he's guilty or not, the fact still stand that he caused a major security breach.

 **To: Mina Ashido**

Refer to the message directed for Kirishima above.

 **To: Midnight**

Do not under any circumstances try to make a deal with Midoriya to have a look at his notes of heroes to look for information about your boyfriend. If you want to know something, just ask him yourself instead of asking one of the students.

 **To: Izuku Midoriya**

And a bigger question is how exactly did you managed to get the information that you did have. At this point I'm convinced you know more about us than we did ourselves.

 **Signed by Eraserhead**

 **From: Principal Nedzu**

 **To: Izuku Midoriya**

Echoing the sentiment exhibited by Eraserhead above, I believe that it's time for us to have a talk regarding those notes of yours

 **Signed by Principal Nedzu**

* * *

 **A/N. This fic isn't dead, but I kinda lost the general outline of where I'm taking this thing and only begin to figure it out again recently.**


End file.
